


something like a prayer

by almostannette



Series: Crimes of Grindelwald - Oneshots [5]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Blood Pact, Boggarts, Fear, Guilt, M/M, Panic Attack, corpse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 16:57:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16685539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almostannette/pseuds/almostannette
Summary: Albus Dumbledore had been teaching students to defend themselves against boggarts for years. What he didn't tell them is that he hasn't faced a boggart since his NEWT exams...





	something like a prayer

**Author's Note:**

> I know we all love the mirror scene, but I was also very intrigued about the possibilities of Dumbledore facing a boggart. Could it be that his greatest desire and greatest fear are symbolized by the same person?

**Hogwarts, 1927**  
  
After the obligatory lesson on boggarts with the third year students, Albus stayed behind in his classroom. Once the last pupil had left the room, Albus warily eyed the wardrobe which contained the boggart. Over the years, he'd taught countless students how to defend themselves against that particular magical creature.

The logic behind it was fairly simple. You defeated fear by laughing into its face. If it only were that easy for him...  
  
The last time Albus had faced a boggart himself was during his NEWT examination for Defence Against the Dark Arts. He had a few ideas which form his boggart might take and he didn't want to expose his students to either of them. Not to mention that the Board of Governors would have a field day should they get wind of it. He was well aware that the likes of Malfoy and Black would love to have him out of the way, not willing to accept that Albus, a half-blood, was their children’s favorite teacher.  
  
Pointing his wand at the classroom door, Albus cast both a strong locking charm and an additional spell to alert him if anyone tried to enter the room. He took a last deep breath, readied his wand, and stepped in front of the wardrobe, assuming his dueling stance.  
  
With a flick of his wand, he unlocked the door of the wardrobe and waited for the boggart to make an appearance.  
  
The door opened slowly. The creaking of the rusty angles seemed absurdly loud in the empty classroom; the only other noise was Albus’ labored breathing.  
  
The boggart had taken the shape of a person - an adult man. He was wearing a midnight blue suit, so dark it almost appeared black. When the boggart looked up, Albus sucked in a breath of surprise. He was looking at a carbon copy of himself.  
  
His twin observed Albus curiously and smiled at him, a slow, dangerous thing which made Albus’ blood run cold. Something glittery was peaking out of Not-Albus’ breast pocket. With a start, Albus realized that his twin was carrying the filigree pendant symbolizing the blood pact he’d made with Gellert all those years ago.

None of this was real, he repeatedly told himself when the door of the wardrobe opened again. Out stepped Gellert, looking a lot older than when they’d last seen each other. However, the way he held himself, the way he walked and, most devastating of all, the way he smiled at Albus were exactly like he remembered.  
  
Albus’ fingers were itching with the need to touch Gellert. He’d already half-forgotten that this was nothing but an illusion, that the boggart was playing tricks on him.

Gellert only had eyes for Albus’ doppelgänger. He stepped up to him, angled his head, and leaned in to kiss him like he never kissed the actual Albus.  
  
Not with the exuberant passion of youth, compensating for lack of experience with enthusiasm, and not with the desperation of someone who saw the love of their life for the first time in over twenty-five years.  
  
The way Gellert kissed Albus’ doppelgänger reminded him of how his parents used to behave around each other, back when they had been a normal family, so very long ago. Gentle, loving, and full of happiness. Albus’ doppelgänger didn’t push Gellert away, no, the kiss went on for five seconds, ten seconds… when they finally broke apart, Gellert smiled at Albus’ twin.  
  
“ _Liebling_ , I missed you,” Gellert said, caressing Not-Albus’ cheek. His voice had gotten a bit rougher with age, but his accent was the same and hearing it again after so many years put Albus off his stride.  
  
Only then did Albus notice that his doppelgänger’s hands were stained with blood.

Not-Albus and Gellert stepped aside, revealing a shape on the ground which had previously been hidden.  
  
Albus recognized it immediately and he fell to his knees in front of his little sister's corpse, hot tears uncontrollably streaming down his face. He reached out, touching her pale face and her ice-cold hands.  
  
Some people said the dead looked peaceful, as though they were sleeping. That was not true for Ariana Dumbledore. Her features were contorted with fear and pain.  
  
“I'm sorry,” Albus sobbed, not quite realizing he was begging for absolution from a magical creature which only mirrored his own trauma. “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I swear…”  
  
In his despair, he almost didn’t notice that Gellert and Albus’ doppelgänger were looking down at both Ariana’s frail body and on Albus himself.  
  
“Do you regret it?” Gellert asked. Albus couldn’t tell who he was addressing - him, or his boggart twin.  
  
“No,” Not-Albus said, regarding Ariana’s corpse with disinterest. “It was for the greater good.”  
  
Gellert smiled and placed his hand over the pendant resting over Not-Albus' heart. “For the greater good,” he repeated.  
  
Albus wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand and pointed his wand at the farce before him. He couldn’t take one more second of this, but he had no idea how he could transform the scene in front of his eyes into something light-hearted, something he would be able to laugh at.  
  
Torn between aiming his wand at Gellert or his doppelgänger, Albus finally chose to aim for his twin’s face. “ _Bombarda Maxima_ ,” he whispered and threw up a shield charm just in time to protect himself from the debris when the wardrobe burst apart in a violent explosion.  
  
He spent much more time than necessary restoring the classroom to its former pristineness and spent the remainder of the day deflecting questions about the explosion in his classroom by mumbling excuses about an experiment which had gone wrong. 

* * *

When Albus went to bed that night, he took a large swig of Dreamless Sleep potion. Otherwise, Albus knew what he’d be dreaming about - a warm, male body next to his own, a husky voice whispering endearments in German, and kisses so searing that he still couldn’t forget them a quarter of a century later.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: "Liebling" is a German term of endearment. It means "sweetheart".
> 
> If you want to share your opinion, I'd be overjoyed if you left me a comment!
> 
> You can also find me [@almost-annette](https://almost-annette.tumblr.com/)


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